So, seeing as how this is my very first post of my very first blog in my adult life (I had one in junior high, but that was so my two best friends and I had a communal place to gossip about boys), I really should do an introduction about myself, but guess what? I'm not going to. This is my blog; I'm gonna format it however the hell I want and there's nothing you little readers can do about it except hang on for the ride. Don't you worry, I'll give you the rundown on myself soon. But I figured that I should write this very first post along the lines of the story that inspired me to create a blog in the first place. Yes, it had everything to do with my endless supply of witty comments and anecdotes, and when someone suggested I start a blog to write down my clever little whatevers, I said hey, why not? I only work four jobs and go to school! I've got PLENTY of time to write mindless thoughts and pointless stories out for what I am sure will end up being a minimal number of readers. But neverless, I do love to write, and it sounded like a fun idea at the time, so I'm going for it.
Anyways, today's story all begins this afternoon, as I was sitting in Business Law class. No wait, let's back up about a week ago and start there. So I have an iPhone. And I'm always looking for fun little apps for it on which I can waste time and be completely unproductive. So while I was browsing for a calendar app (because the iPhone standard calendar SUCKS) I found this little thing called iPeriod. I clicked on it to see what it was, and it is a calendar that is supposed to track your period and let you know how many days it will be before you start! (sorry if this is grossing any of you boys out) So I thought, sweet! I'm gonna try it! So I download the app and put in the dates of my last few periods, and it pops up and says "Your next period will be in 5 days". So I'm thinking, "Sweet, we'll see just how accurate this thing is." So five days come and go; no period. So I chek this app to see what it has to say for itself:
"Your period is 1 day late!"
And I'm thinking, "Gee, period calendar, that's not very encouraging..."
So anyways, that brings us up to this afternoon. I'm sitting in Business Law class, absently pretending to pay attention. It's a BEAUTIFUL day on the central coast of California, so I'm wearing little white shorts and a tank top, thoroughly enjoying the warm weather. So I get up to leave class after the lecture is over, and I feel it: Ladies, I know you ALL know the feeing I'm talking about. The feeling you get down there when suddenly you are keenly aware that there is going to be a big mess soon if you don't take action. So I try to play it cool as I power walk my little white shorts to the bathroom, and sure enough, I can finally get my iPeriod calendar to stop telling me how late my period is ("Your period is 3 days late!"). And I'm sitting there thinking, "How rude is Mother Nature to wait until the day I'm wearing white shorts to grace me with the crimson tide?" But then I realize that Mother Nature is probably sitting there, smugly staring at me, laughing and saying, "Stop being a whiny little bitch. This is me letting you know that you managed to make it another month without getting pregnant. YOU'RE WELCOME."
I hate it when Mother Nature wins. Smug bitch.
